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March 2009

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Mar. 13th, 2009

Weekends

I am so glad it is Friday.  I really need a day or two to do nothing of importance.  I would like to read a little and maybe work on a craft that I am hoping to complete by Easter.  Every year for the holidays I enjoy making place setting decorations.  They normally include each guest's name and I put them near their plate.  I have made many different types for every holiday.  I think my family looks forward to seeing what I will make each year.  My favorite was the year I made 3" x 3" paper bag scrapbooks for each person with childhood pictures on each page and quotes to reflect their personalities.  I made over 30 for a big family gathering.  It took me a few months working a little here and a little there.  Each time I finished a book I felt like it was my favorite and when I completed them all I couldn't decide.  I find making crafts to be a relaxing activity.  This years place setting craft is going to be felt bunnies with each person's name embroidered on.  I did fall leaves out of felt one year and embroidered names on.  They turned out nice.  I hope these do too.

My youngest just left to have a sleepover with her best friend.  So it will be a quiet evening.  Today is our Golden Retriever Sam's 11th birthday.  He is such a sweet old man dog.  He acts like he is 14 or more.  He is huge and looks forward to two things everyday.  Breakfast and dinner.  I remember well the day we went to get him.  We met the breeder half way between our homes.  She put him in my arms and it was love at first sight.  He did throw up in the van on the way home, poor puppy.  He was 13 weeks old and just beginning that gangly stage.  He  has only had one accident in the house from the time we brought him home until this day.  He is really the most wonderful dog you could ever ask for.  He is having a hard time getting up and down the steps in our house and on the deck going out into the yard.  I know he will not be with us forever, I just can't bear to think about this home without him.

I think I will take a picture of him on his birthday and maybe I will figure out how to post it on here.  I have a lot to learn about blogging.  It is all a learning experience for me.  I really enjoy reading other people's blogs and I love when they include photos to go along with the post.  I will figure that out soon.  MHA (husband) thinks this is silly.  But he really does like to check out what I have written.  That is pretty much the way he is about everything.  He is reluctant to become a part of it, but does enjoy it in the end.  After 25 years of marriage I realize this is his make up and there is no changing it. 
*I really wouldn't want to change him.  I have grown used to him and know just what to expect* :)
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Mar. 8th, 2009

Loss

Today marks the 10th anniversary of my brother's death.  Raymond was seven years older than I.  He was the meanest brother you could imagine when we were young.  He was the most loving brother imaginable as adults.  I miss him everyday.  The last few years that he was alive he called me on Monday's. He lived in a different state.  This was our time to catch up.  I knew when the phone rang around 10:00 am it would be him.  I looked forward to the time we were able to spend talking. He would listen to me go on about my children, my friends and the everyday happenings.  He always seemed interested, even though he led a totally different life.  He was not married and had no children.  As Monday comes each week, I wish for those opportunities.  I feel bad that my children will never really know him.  I miss the shared jokes we had and how he understood what I was thinking with just a look.  Today I remember and miss my brother. 

Pen

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Mar. 7th, 2009

Beginnings

Beginnings are sometimes scary, sometimes exciting and sometimes a little of both.  I feel that way starting anything new.  Starting this blog feels that way.  I really have no idea what I am doing.  I do know that I enjoy reading other people's blogs and have gained inspiration from so many.  I really admire so many who have been at this much longer than I have and I hope to find my place in this on-line community. 

One thing that seems to be a common link in many blogs is parenting.  At least the blogs I choose to read.  I am a parent.  I have been a mother for over 21 years.  My daughters are the center of my world.  I have so much to learn from them.  I hope I have much to also still teach them.  The last couple years have been an adjustment for our family.  When Jordan left for college we learned to let go and to see new things through her eyes.  What a journey it has been.  Then this fall when Ryann ventured out on her own to begin college life, we were left with one teenager at home.  This has been a real adjustment. 

I remember l when we were expecting Ryann, going from one little three year old to two little girls.  So many people had told us what to expect.
  It is much the same with this life change.  You really can not prepare, you just seem to take it day by day.  Watching my girls grow up has been such a joy.  It can be painful at times.  There are times I just want to go back in time and rock my sweet little babies and stare into their innocent little faces.  But that time has come and gone.  They are young women now.  Back to the adjustment.  Having one teen at home.  Allie feels that all the focus is on her and she has a bit of an attitude about it.  She is always questioning  our decisions about rules and what she can and cannot do.  When we had three at home I know it was much busier in our household and the focus was spread amongst the three.  I know this is hard for her.  Just today she questioned why I must confirm that there will be a parent home at the house of the boy she wants to hang out with.  After much conversation and debate I ended it with, "I will parent in the way in which I choose.  When you have children you may parent in any way you see fit."  She was not happy and I know she will not understand for many years why I have to make these choices.  It is difficult parenting teens!

In parenting it seems like once we master a skill, it is no longer needed.  We must move into unchartered territory.  

I will go now and take a peek at my sleeping teen and remember fondly when she was a baby in my arms with that sweet smell only a baby has.

Pen